A list of things to look forward to when you get old:
1. Being expected to wear really heinous and/or outlandish clothing on days other than Halloween.
2. The legitimate ability to tell anyone to "respect their elders" and actually have it apply in your favor.
3. The potential to take out your dentures at inopportune moments and possibly embarrass your family.
4. The knowledge that a good part of your descriptive vernacular could make you sound more fascinating by default (how cool of a word is "humdinger"? Or "dungarees"???).
5. You'll never have to think about getting a different haircut after reaching the age of 65.
6. All of your belongings will eventually become valuable antiques.
7. Not caring what you look like anymore when you hit the beach.
8. Being out of touch with really vacuous celebrity culture.
9. Driving obnoxiously large luxury cars.
10. Using the excuse "my hearing's not so good anymore" so you can blast your music as loud as you fucking please.
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