Friday, November 7, 2008

List Sixty.

A list of what some countries call their dollar store franchises:

1. Mexico: Waldo's Dollar Mart
2. England: Poundland
3. Denmark: Tiger
4. France: Monoprix
5. Sweden: Bubbeltian
6. Australia: Crazy Clark's
7. Japan: Cando
8. Malta: Tal-Lira
9. United States: Deal$
and my personal favorite:
10. Canada: Your Dollar Store With More

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

List Fifty Nine.

A list of differences between mannequins and humans:

1. Mannequin life span is estimated to top out in the thirty-something range, although the elder ones will swear that they're just twenty-somethings.
2. Human beings consume a great deal less amount of hairspray per capita than mannequins.
3. To describe a mannequin as having "a stick up [his/her] butt" is just a way of life for some, whereas for humans, the connotations are typically negative concerning certain conservative attributes.
4. Fashion is the number one priority of mannequins, while human beings site "survival" as their most important activity.
5. Mannequins are in the top ten in the Guinness Book of World Records for not-blinking (statues, or other eyeless things currently place higher), while human beings are not even considered for this feat.
6. Real estate prices for mannequins goes for a lot cheaper than humans, being that all most mannequins require is a storefront window and no other amenities.
7. Most humans celebrate religious holidays; most mannequins are atheist.
8. There's only ever been one popular diet method for mannequins - not eating - but humans have endured countless waves of fad diets (Atkins, South Beach, etc.)
9. Nearly all mannequins call Robert Palmer their favorite musician, but human beings tend to be all over the map, admiring singers who run the gamut from Bruce Springsteen to Boy George.
10. Crime rate amongst mannequins lies in the 0 percent range, as human beings commit pretty much all of the violence-related occurrences in the world.