List Fourteen.

A chronological list of things a loud-mouthed worker at a Dairy Queen publicized from between 5:30-5:45 PM on 11.21.07:

1. How much he liked the (TERRIBLE) Gwen Stefani song on the radio.
2. That he was going on a date with not one, but TWO girls later that evening.
3. It's appalling that his co-worker didn't know who "Whitey" was.
4. But he couldn't watch "Eight Crazy Nights" with his co-worker to educate her tonight because also? He was going to a "shin-dig."
5. He skipped the first two periods of school the other day.
6. In order to do so, though, he had to forge the date from an old note written by his parents.
7. He was promptly busted last night when his mom found the forged note in his pants.
8. But he doesn't want to do his own laundry ever because that's lame.
9. He's going to leave at 7 o'clock whether or not his replacement comes to relieve him.
10. He's a prime specimen for alien abduction.*

*Shit, that last one *I* made up.