A List Of Things Better To Do Than Read Harry Potter:
1. Throw away all Harry Potter books or paraphernalia.
2. Or, if you don't want to litter, return all Harry Potter books or paraphernalia.
3. Translate the phrase "Harry Potter is an insipid cult that is brainwashing the best minds of our generation" into the 6800 known languages across the globe.
4. Insist on calling Harry Potter "Harry Pooper."
5. Write thank you notes to J.K. Rowling for finishing her abominable series.
6. Bake a cake for each employee at your local bookstore who is tired of selling the latest Harry Potter, er, Harry Pooper installment.
7. If you're writing about Harry Pooper, spell it "Hairy Pooper" for extra chuckles.
8. If you run across an unguarded Hairy Pooper, recall your talent for projectile vomit.
9. Convince that terrible group "Harry and the Potters" to stop writing music. Tell them that J.K. Rowling hates music. She does. It's why she writes such terrible books - she's reacting to her dislike for things inspired by those who posses actual talent.
10. After purging the world of all things Hairy Pooper, pet your cat. He hasn't been getting that much love after your all-consuming hatred for Hairy Pooper and he needs attention.
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