List Eleven.

A list of things that I am allergic to:

1. Poison ivy.
2. Dust.
3. Mold.
4. Cats.
5. Dogs.
6. Pollen.
7. Cheap perfume.
8. People who are super dreamy.
9. People who are super dreamy and have girlfriends.
10. People who are super dreamy and have girlfriends and confuse the living owls out of me because they think that I understand but I'm actually just overanalytical so nothing makes sense.

List Ten.

A list of bad places to puke:

1. On a computer.
2. On someone's head (that you like).
3. On yourself.
4. On a cloud (why are you in the air?).
5. In space.
6. In a pool.
7. On your meal.
8. At your wedding while exchanging vows.
9. Onto the time machine you just invented.
10. At a "puking cure" convention that you are hosting.

List Nine.

A list of things that pet cats should not sit on:

1. Fire. Cats aren't cute when charred.
2. A bog filled with fleas and ticks. Self explanatory.
3. Their own catfood while you are trying to refill their food bowls.
4. Freshly painted objects... that you want to remain intact.
5. Laptops - who wants furdirt in their keyboard?
6. Clouds - just because a cat is fluffy doesn't mean it's fluffier than a cloud.
7. Magnets. Cats are actually robots and magnets will mess up their internal Cute-o-meter.
8. Any stuffed sharks. Unless you're a perv and you like cat on stuffed shark action.
9. The dashboard of your car while driving. They need to be steering, not decorating!
10. Your knife collection. If you have a cat that's not a robot, there is a chance that it's actually a furred-over balloon and you don't want to risk it popping.

List Eight.

A list of terrible ideas for "going away" presents (and a list of exceptions!):

1. A bag of cement*
2. Q-tips that you used to clean out your cat's ears**
3. Anything with that "-be-gone!" suffix, i.e. "Itch Be Gone!", "Bugs Be Gone!" etc.***
4. Expired pickles****
5. Underwater goggles to fit a chihuahua*****
6. An autographed thank you note******
7. An empty jewel case entitled "Erotic Lounge Mix"*******
8. A $100 gift card for Tower Records********
9. A mix CD featuring sounds of despair, torture, sobbing, and war sounds*********
10. A garden gnome full of oregano**********

*1. Unless the person is off to build a splendid driveway
**2. Unless the person is a vet student who's writing his thesis about ear mites
***3. Unless that person is particularly itchy or buggy
****4. Unless the person collects (what he hopes to be) antique pickle jars
*****5. Unless the person specializes in training small dogs to swim
******6. Unless the person is your biggest stalker. Hmm. I might have to think about this one.
*******7. Unless the person is Astra, the blogger behind this madness. Because, seriously, I spent 5 cents at a yard sale for this beauty. I laughed for a few days. It was great.
********8. Unless the person is going to a time traveler's convention to see what sweet records he can score in the recent past
*********9. Unless the person needs inspiration for his interview with Satan
**********10. Unless the person is going to enter an Italian cooking contest

List Seven.

A List Of Body Parts Tired of Being Ignored:

1. Cochlea.
2. Shoulder girdle.
3. Weenus.
4. Philtrum.
5. Halluxes.
6. Epiglottis.
7. Conjunctiva.
8. Thumb webbing.
9. Uvula.
10. Lymph nodes.

List Six.

A list of rejected colors from the rainbow (that we really should include):

1. Fuchsia
2. Chartreuse
3. Lavender
4. Robin's Egg Blue
5. Creamy White
6. Raven Black
7. Aubergine
8. Silver
9. Gold
10. Invisible New Color

(Please note that Khaki was not included. There is a reason that Khaki was not included.)