List Twenty Eight.

A list of things that go up:

1. Elevators.
2. Balloons.
3. What.
4. Spirits.
5. Arrows.
6. Beams (hint: think about Scotty).
7. Happy dog tails.
8. See-saws.
9. Hands.
10. Mountains.

List Twenty Seven.

A list of things that cause cancer which scientists have not discovered yet:

1. Tables
2. Tote bags
3. Other people
4. Hugs (yes, this is different from other people because you can give yourself a hug)
5. Spiral notebooks
6. Scissors
7. Vowels
8. Wind
9. Napping for 15 minute periods
10. Fingernail clippings

List Twenty Six.

A list of things that average people can already do, but these certain animals performing them would be amazing to see:

1. A porcupine writing its own name.
2. An octopus putting a crab in a jar.
3. A parrot correctly and consistently identifying the difference between red and blue.
4. A dog dialing 911.
5. A bunny playing Chopsticks on the piano.
6. A koala braiding someone's hair.
7. A bear jumping rope.
8. A kangaroo fishing with a fishing pole.
9. A giraffe walking along a straight line.
10. Giraffes in general, actually.

List Twenty Five.

A list of clothing items that men should avoid wearing:

1. Socks scrunched around the ankles.
2. Visors.
3. Pleated pants.
4. Shirts with "ironically misogynistic" phrases.
5. All athletic wear if you are not doing something athletic: this goes for gross running shoes, sweatpants and tacky striped nylon windbreaker-things.
6. Zippered shirts, especially those that only zip from the top of the collar to the mid-chest region.
7. Sandals - this excludes flip flops if you are at the beach.
8. T-shirts tucked into the jeans.
9. Backpacks - why, are you still in sixth grade?
10. Long-sleeved shirts tied around the waist.

List Twenty Four.

A list of musical artists / bands who might have missed their calling to be children's books:

1. Say Hi To Your Mom
2. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
3. Rex The Dog
4. A Sunny Day In Glasgow
5. My Brightest Diamond
6. Johnny And The Moon
7. Volcano I'm Still Excited!!
8. Saturday Looks Good To Me
9. Oh No! Oh My!
10. Monster Bobby

List Twenty Three.

A list of words that most likely don't belong in a pirate's vernacular:

1. Sequins
2. Potpourri
3. Fabulous
4. Taffeta
5. Doiley
6. Ylang-ylang
7. Sensual
8. Cosmopolitan
9. Pentameter
10. LOL

List Twenty Two.

A list of suggested names for Shannyn Sossamon's next child:

1. Catheter Tube
2. Marine Biology
3. Industrial Park
4. Terabyte Harddrive
5. Car Battery
6. Vacuum Cleaner
7. Combustion Engine
8. Outer Space
9. Electrical Current
10. (my personal favorite:) Ultra Violet (...Ray?)